Don't

Just don't.
Don't act like you've never tried.
Don't act like I don't matter.
Don't hide.

Stop it. I hate prying.

I don't know what to do.

Still.

Day is made.
No I don't need you.

Back again, in the middle of CTs.

Maths Paper tomorrow. Over confidence will kill me.
Sigh. Need to chiong all my hbl shit after CTs hahaha.
Oh well. The mugger me. I think I've found it.
In fact, I'm rather proud of myself the past week.
Keeping to my promises, though I didn't study a lot.
It still counts. :)

Thinking.
I don't know why I'm still. Sigh.
Let the past go Zhi Yang.
It's not funny anymore.
It's screwing me up.

My social skills suck balls.
I just don't know how to be not-awkward.
I don't speak my mind.
I'm afraid of being judged.
I'm afraid of the world.

Read something from a book.
'People are as scared of you as you are scared of them"
Soo.. I should grow some balls and start making more friends.

Stop judging people Zhi Yang.
Seriously you got to stop.
Underneath, we're all human.
Start being nice, nicer.
They're trying their best.
Who cares if their accepted by society.
We're all the same.

I won't know if you won't tell me.

:(

OP IS OVER

Yeah well so after enduring that crap,
Which wasn't reall
y much.
OP was okay, at least something you can prepare for.
Which doesn't really need you to stay up THAT late.

Once again must thank our IT rep.
For the slides, and the video.
All the hard work put in seriously.
<3 BROmance.
To think we still criticised, damn I feel bad.

FAK THIS.
SO yesterday was awkward.
Maybe not for you.
For me it was. Damn awkward.
And stop following people around like a dog please.
Nvm you won't see this.

And you.
Stop giving everyone false hints.
There's a line between what you can do with friends
And what you can't. You crossed it know seriously.
I'm not the only one who can see it.
Well, not a completely bad day though.
Great chat at the bus stop with Ryan bestie. HAHA.

Why is life like so damn hardddd.
And I thought after OP is like relax mode.
Who knew I had to start doing tutorials and e-assessments.
What the hell school.
Can we catch a break?
:/

The world you live in is defined by your beliefs.
So true.
If you think the world sucks, you'll just think of the bad points of everything.
Why can't I changeeeeeeee.....

OPTIMISM OPTIMISM OPTIMISM COME TO ME :(
Awkward. I swear.
And I wasn't angst just now.
I kind of DCed.
But it's not important.

I'm secretly waiting for a message..............
If it comes.
:l
Life would really rock.

_l_

So there.
Wanted to find some place to rant.
Where everyone, but no one can see.
Where I can record my thoughts, and be able to read in the future,
Then suddenly remembered I still have a blog.

Which is totally cool btw.
Perhaps if anyone reads, it'll be me, in 5 months time.
Thinking back about what I did from this post onwards.

Time to reflect on this whole year.
Really regretting all the choices I've made..
Firstly, I shouldn't even have came to VJC.
I don't belong here.
Really, I don't feel like I belong.
No matter how many times I smile, laugh, cry, sweat.
I don't feel like I'm a part of all of it.

It doesn't feel real. Like I've been dreaming.
So yeah, life's been busy. But still, I always can find time to procrastinate.
Shouldn't have picked up another new hobby.
Only I know what it is though. And, bad choice. Cause it ain't working out.

ODAC.
After today, sitting at the table of ODACers.
And then a practice with bandmates.
I made the wrong choice.
I should have gone to ODAC.
Sure, I'm giving up on the opportunity to play my instrument ever again.
But there's no time to even practice.
I don't even play properly now.
I don't even enjoy playing my instrument anymore cause I suck.

Performances. SHOULDN'T HAVE GONE TO ENGLAND TRIP
During the June Holidays.
1. No time to study
2. Missed performing for two concerts
3. A lot of money is involved.
4. Turned out to be some learning trip
5. Super disappointed at some of the sites. Wasn't as "London" as I thought it would be

PW's been tough.
I've been a really sucky leader.
I really feel as if I've contributed nothing.
Thank god for all my teammates.
Thank the SC pres for tanking so many things.
You too, IT rep. You've been amazing.
I often disagree with you and sometimes I get pretty mad at you for adding some stuff.
But your initiative is really something that is valued by me.
Alot.
Without you, our group is gone.

I need to get more fit.
Really bad.
I'm skinny, stamina-less.
Most I can do is buff up.

I liked the wrong girl.
YES. Why haven't I learnt.
From past mistakes.
I let others in again.
I can't let people close.
It hurts, like really.
I finally know what they meant by shouting but no one can hear you.

I lost many of my friends in search of new ones.
Really, my past friends.
They're still the best.
I screwed up.

I'm regretting.

OP.
Pfft.

2011

I screwed up.



Bad year.